Illinois Zoo Lets You Name A Cockroach After Your Ex For Valentine’s

One Illinois zoo has the right idea when it comes to remembering exes.

Valentine's Day has long been one of my least favorite holidays (except for the chocolate, that's the only saving grace) and a zoo in Illinois has really figured out how to make spirits bright.

A lot of us remember our exes as a dramatic/toxic/annoying pile of trash, no matter how the relationship ended. Now you can give your ex a new life...in the animal kingdom.

Brookfield Zoo in Brookfield, Illinois has launched their 'Name A Cockroach' program for Valentine's Day 2023.

You can name a cockroach after your ex.

And these are those especially nasty Madagascar hissing cockroaches, so there are added 'ew' points to it. But it's a fitting animal, no doubt. To name a cockroach after your ex, it's a $15 donation to the zoo (it's a good cause, justify it that way). Your ex's first name will go on the Cockroach Naming Board that's displayed at the zoo, which will be unveiled on February 14th. How perfect if they take a new date there.

You'll get a Certificate of Naming (to remember the Valentine's that you were especially petty) if you submit your ex's name to the zoo by February 6th at 5:00 p.m.

I would need a cockroach family for my idiot exes but if you're ready to both help out the zoo and also be the petty, wonderful ex that you are, you can submit the donation and your ex's name for the 'Name A Cockroach' here.