Retired Matador Who Returned For One-Night Show Looking For New Rectum

A highly renowned matador decided to cap off his career by coming out of retirement for one night only, and it ended with him being carried off by his compadres while he held his butt in place in front of thousands of people.

Morante de la Puebla, who is known as "King of the Bullfighters" decided he'd take on three bulls at the Maestranza arena in Seville, Spain last night, and he ended up gored in the rectum.

The 46-year-old easily beat the first three bulls, as he had done hundreds of times before, but the fourth was where he met his match.

As they fought, the bull got itself into the irrigation ditch, one of the only spots where the bull finds an upper hand in the arena. The bull charged, and Puebla tried to sidestep but didn't quite get out of the way.

He let go of his cape, and tried to get out of the way, but the bull's first contact turned him, and the second put the horn right up his butt.

According to reports down there, the horn penetrated, and perforated Puebla's rectum and left a 4-inch injury. We're not sure if it's 4 inches long or 4 inches deep.

After a few hours of surgery, the staff at the hospital confirmed his rectum was completely severed, and he required extensive repair to the rectal wall and sphincter apparatus.

Surely, he'll stay in retirement this time, because his work is a pain in the ass.